Dr. Dale Atkins, PhD Psychology P.C.
Sanity Savers and More...
March 2005

Greetings!

Hello again. Here we are with the third newsletter! Thank you, again, for your excellent feedback and suggestions. It is truly wonderful hearing from those of you who have been sent the newsletter from other friends or colleagues. Welcome to the widening circle of folks who are more and more connected. This "linking" will help me respond to the kinds of questions and concerns you have so please keep it up. (see Send A Friend button below).

I'll continue to share thoughts, Sanity Savers and information about articles, appearances, publications, interviews, and seminars on a variety of topics.

Wishing you health, peace and balance.

Dale

In this issue
  • SANITY SAVERS
    Family Vacations
  • Upcoming Presentations
  • Wedding Sanity Savers
    New Book with Annie Gilbar
  • Dr. Dale's Website has a New Look!
  • TIPS for Your Marriage
    While Raising a Child Who Has Extra Needs
  • I'm OK, You're My Parents
    Now in Paperback

  • SANITY SAVERS
    Family Vacations

    Some people look forward to the whole intergenerational clan experience as a great opportunity for everyone to get to know each other in a relaxed and easy manner and others think that those two words, "family" and "vacation" cannot coexist in the same sentence.

    Here are some Sanity Savers to keep in mind on your next family adventure:

    • Plan ahead as best you can. Discover what is available at the place you are going (activities, proximity to religious institutions, parks, restaurants, etc.)
    • Decide the best room arrangements and accommodations. Do you want to be next door to your parents? Consider privacy issues.
    • Everyone needs time alone to recharge. That long solo sunrise walk along the beach is worth getting up for.
    • Pair people in the family who have similar interests so they can have private time together.
    • Use the opportunity to stay connected to your mate. Sometimes it is difficult to demonstrate your loyalty when you feel torn between your parents, siblings and your spouse. Take time to be together, alone.
    • For meals and other group outings, decide beforehand what is being paid for and by whom.
    • Share caregiving of the children. Decide how responsibilities will be divided.
    • And for fun and a sense of camaraderie, offer everyone a TEE shirt or hat with the family name. You can also designate one person as the family trip chronologer/photographer.


    Upcoming Presentations

    March 12, 2005
    "Self Image: A Workshop in Progress"
    Women's Images Conference, Fairfield, CT

    March 14, 2005 8pm
    "Parents and Their Adult Children: It's Never Too Late to Make it Better."
    Cosmopolitan Club, NYC

    March 18, 2005
    "Keeping Your Balance: Parents and Professionals Learning from One Another as they Provide the Best for Difficult Children"
    Young Adult Institute, NYC


    Wedding Sanity Savers
    New Book with Annie Gilbar

    My new book, co-authored with Annie Gilbar, Wedding Sanity Savers: How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes, and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day will be in bookstores on June 7th but you can pre-order it today by clicking below.

    Addressing the psychological pitfalls that go with getting married, Wedding Sanity Savers shares questions and answers from my advice column on WeddingChannel.com and offers brides, grooms and their families a helpful guide during the wedding process.


    Dr. Dale's Website has a New Look!

    Spring will soon be here and I've been doing a bit of pre-spring cleaning of my own. DrDaleAtkins.com has a new, fresh, look. It is easier to navigate and highlights "What's New."

    Click below to the new Home Page and let me know what you think. Email dale@drdaleatkins.com.


    TIPS for Your Marriage
    While Raising a Child Who Has Extra Needs

    The key for couples living with a child who has extra needs is finding a "new normalcy"; one that works for both you and your spouse. Dealing with the challenges that are raised by having a child who has extra needs can serve to strengthen a relationship that is already strong or can tear at the fabric of a weak one.

    There are more demands put on everyone in families with kids who have extra needs and there are new and different worries and concerns. More than ever, couples need to feel appreciated and their efforts acknowledged. Since progress is often slower than parents would like, focusing on what YOUR child does is essential, rather than comparing to other children in the neighborhood.

    Here are some TIPS to keep your marraige on track while giving to the needs of your child:

    • Realize that your child is a whole child who happens to have a disability. The disability does not define your child, you or your family.
    • Take care of yourself and one another, and when needed, develop other sources of support and interests (separately and together) while nurturing your relationship apart from your child.
    • Pay attention to the positive aspects of your life and your relationship, determining ways to acknowledge each other's effort and value.
    • Share the journey of learning about your child's diagnosis and what will be required of you as a family (whenever possible attend classes, meetings, medical and educational appointments together).
    • Help each other and re-examine your roles based on what is needed for your relationship to thrive.
    • Guilt and worry do nothing to enhance your time together. Give yourselves specific opportunities to share your feelings and concerns. That way you can maximize enjoyment during your free time together.
    • You and your spouse will adapt in different ways. Respect, understand and try to share this process.


    I'm OK, You're My Parents
    Now in Paperback

    I'm Ok, You're My Parents: How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works is now in paperback!


    DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, lecturer and media commentator who appears regularly on the Today show.

    She has more than twenty- five years of experience as a relationship expert, focusing on families, couples, parenting, aging well and stress management.

    Dr. Atkins is the author and/or co-editor of several books including Sisters; From the Heart: Men and Women Write Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives; Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children; I'm OK, You're My Parents and the soon to be released Wedding Sanity Savers.

    Find out more....
    Quick Links...

    DrDaleAtkins.com

    Dale's Advice on Weddings at WeddingChannel.com

    Dale's Advice on Healthy Eating & Lifestyle at KathleenDaelemans.com

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