As we get more into summer I hope you are enjoying
a more relaxed atmosphere. Some of you have
children going away, others of you are going away
yourself and for many you are taking the summer to
reevaluate where you are and where you want to
With this 7th newsletter, I thank you for your
valuable feedback and I continue to incorporate the
that you have asked me to comment
about. Please pass on this
newsletter to your friends, loved ones and colleagues
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Wishing you health, peace and balance.
Letting Go of Your Kids this Summer
Your children probably have plans this summer which
may involve being away from home for an extended
period of time. Depending on their age, they're
either visiting relatives away from home, backpacking
on their own or going off to
sleep-away camp. Essentially, they'll be on their
in some capacity.
While they're having fun away from the nest, it's
normal for parents to worry about
their safety but still want to give them the freedom
to explore. Do your best to let your children know
have confidence in them and their choices.
Here are some Sanity Savers to help you put your
mind at ease as you let go of
your child so he or she can enjoy summer fun:
Plan on ways you can ease your worry. Write in your
own journal on what you're feeling and how
you can plan your summer and avoid being stressed
out from thinking about your kids. Take time for
yourself and your other relationships. Use your time
- Role Play - Kids might not
what to expect. You can help them combat
loneliness, react appropriately in emergencies, learn
to make new friends and
deal with different personalities if you prepare them
before they set
out on their journeys.
- Anticipate Homesick Feelings - Pack
pictures and keepsakes and an address book so your
child can call and write friends and loved ones. A
journal to combat lonely
times is a good friend.
- Discuss Ways to Relax -
may encounter peer pressure, competitiveness and
anxiety from unfamiliar people and settings and will
need to unwind. Breathing exercises, stretching,
visualization, journaling and
writing letters home can all help.
- Visualize Safety - Surround yourself in
mind's eye with a picture that your children are
protected and safe.
Unneccessary worry is stressful and unhelpful.
- Communicate Often - If you can,
make contact by phone at regularly scheduled times
your child knows when he or she will talk to you and
connected. Pack pre-
stamped, pre-addressed post cards and envelopes.
Also, check in with adults who are supervising your
children to get another view of how they are doing.
- Have an Emergency Plan - Especially for
international travel, know your child's
itinerary and make sure he or she has the phone
location of the nearest
US Embassy. If travel
change, your child should contact you immediately
the new schedule. An international cell phone or
service is a
good idea as well as prepaid credit cards and calling
|Happenings in July
July 12th (9 o'clock hour)
TODAY Show (NBC)
July Issue of Cosmopolitan
Dr. Dale quoted on Marriage
*Appearances subject to change.
|Wedding Sanity Savers
A Great Engagement Gift!
My new book, co-authored with Annie
Gilbar, Wedding Sanity Savers:
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes, and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
Day is the handbook every bride needs.
Addressing the psychological pitfalls that go with
getting married, Wedding Sanity Savers
shares questions and answers from my advice
column on WeddingChannel.com and offers brides,
grooms and their families a helpful guide during the
|TIPS: Women in Midlife
Beginning the Process of Change
There seems to be a common trend today for women
at midlife. More and more women in their 40's and
50's and 60's (notice how the parameters of midlife
are expanding) are reexamining their lives and making
lifestyle and career changes while exploring new
Some have been thrust into self discovery by a
specific event in their life (divorce, illness, death of
a loved one, loss of a job, empty nesting) while
others intuitively know they need to embrace change
and grow. Whatever the reason for their new focus,
women are finding satisfaction at midlife by following
their passions, joys and dreams.
Here are a few TIPS for beginning the process of
- DeClutter Your Life - To allow for
especially have to feel their home is in order. Take
care of the "externals" (home, finances, loved ones,
and other relationships) so you're not overwhelmed
with sundry concerns while you're starting
the "internal" process of change. This is the time to
clean those closets, simplify your daily routine, let go
of weighing relationships and make sure those that
you're responsible for (children, spouses, parents)
are taken care of so you can make room and space
for the new.
- Listen to Your Internal Voice and Face Your
Self confidence and self esteem build as you listen
for your true calling. Focus on what YOU know you
are meant to do rather than what other people think
you should do. But, listen to others because they
have some good insights. This is a process and does
not happen overnight. Visualize being the person you
truly know yourself to be.
- Give Yourself Time to Transition - Learn
motivating your change and what you need to move
forward. This may be the time to take a class or
mentor to develop your abilities in a new or dormant
area. Find the path that works for you to accomplish
- Discover What Gives You Meaning and
Ignite old passions or explore new ones. What have
you always wanted to do or gave up doing that
you're still longing for? Find your passions by
examining your talents, skills, interests and unique
gifts which will undoubtedly lead you to your life's
- Allow for Spiritual Growth - Opening up
true essence and authentic self connects us to our
spirituality. Try and take time to quietly reflect
and "let go" by meditating, praying, journaling and
inviting nature into your life. Find the time for
solitude to really inquire of yourself what is next for
you in your life.
Remember as you change, so may your relationships
with loved ones, friends and colleagues. You may
welcome new people in your life who share a similar
focus as old relationships wane or improve.
Embrace the change and spend time with people who
support you and have walked this path.
By welcoming change into our lives, we have the
opportunity to dream and make those dreams come
|I'm OK, You're My Parents
Now in Paperback
I'm Ok, You're My Parents: How to
Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship
That Works is now in paperback!
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and media commentator who appears
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience as a relationship expert,
focusing on families, couples, parenting, aging well
and stress management.
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including
Sisters; From the Heart: Men and
Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives;
Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children;
OK, You're My Parents and the soon to be
Wedding Sanity Savers.
Find out more....