November often finds us at more social events,
particularly Thanksgiving. Interacting with friends
and family sometimes gets us thinking about our own
aging and the way we respond to others and how
they respond to us. That's why this month we're
Growing Older with Style and Grace and
to Teach our Kids Manners.
Thank you again for helping to get the word out
(co-authored with Annie Gilbar), Wedding Sanity
Please pass along this newsletter to
loved ones and colleagues by clicking Send to a
Friend button below. And thanks for sending me
under "What's on Your Mind?" Please keep
Wishing you health, peace and balance.
Growing Older with Style & Grace
No matter what your age, it's a proven fact that we
grow older with each passing day. But aging does
not have to be a battle to wage. Instead it can be
enriching process that brings us to different phases
in our life adding clarity, wisdom and growth.
People who grow old successfully focus on the
and not on the OLD. They incorporate into their lives
what is really important to them such as enjoyable
work, meaningful relationships and emotional,
physical, and spiritual health and well being.
Here are some Sanity Savers to help you
enhance your life as you focus on growing older with
style and grace.
- Have a Positive Mental Attitude-
Incorporate a Glass is Half Full perspective every day.
- Allocate Your Time Wisely -Time is
precious. Make the most of every minute. Change
your attitude about stressful or draining
- Challenge Yourself - Find new ways
to stimulate your life. Learn a new skill, take an
interesting workshop or sign up for those art classes
you've always wanted to take.
- Think and Act Creatively- There are
many solutions to life's challenges. Go outside of the
box and look for win-win situations that use your
- Have passion - Live life with vigor
- Nurture Relationships - Life is a
relationships with yourself and others. Alone time is
essential and allows us to self reflect. Time spent
with loved ones is best when gratifying and
You are blessed if you have friends of all ages.
- Keep an Interest in the
World - Stay aware of what's going on
around you and keep abreast of current events.
Knowing that we are all part of a larger whole keeps
involved and interested in living.
- Stay Present- Concentrate on
Worries about the future or regrets from the past are
- Be grateful- Find ways to appreciate
give thanks to everything and everyone in your life.
Contribute by making the world a better place.
- Connect with your Spirituality- Practice
prayer, meditation, breathing or visualization to
align with your spiritual self.
- Live Healthfully - Stay physically active,
eat nutritiously and monitor your health (get regular
|What's On Your Mind?
Let's have a "virtual" cup of coffee together.
like to know your thoughts about what you would like
in this newsletter. My goal is to bring you
Savers, tips and articles about what's on your mind
and what you confront in your daily life.
If you have suggestions, please click below. Who
knows, you might even
have a great topic for TV!
|Happening in November
Click to Dr. Dale's
for upcoming TODAY Show
Dates and times subject to change.
Self Image: A Work In Progress
Thursday, Nov 3rd, 2:15-3:30pm
92nd St Y MAKOR Center (Steinhardt Building)
35 West 67th Street, NYC
Click below to register
Annual Conference on Prejudice
Panelist:"Beyond the Ramp: Issues of Access &
Monday, Nov 14th, 10:15-11:45am
Suffolk Assoc. for Jewish Educational Services
Huntington Hilton Hotel, Melville, NY
For information call 631.845.1000
How to Talk to People When They Are Ill
Visiting Families of Those Who Have
Thursday, November 17th, 9:30am
"Jack Birmberg Speaks Out" Radio Show
WVNJ 1160 AM
Getting Older with Grace and Style
Sanity Savers for Life Transitions: Keeping
Friday, Nov 18th and Nov 19th
Canyon Ranch, Tuscon, Arizona
Teaching Our Kids Manners
There Seems to be No Time to be
In our rushed world, polite behavior is becoming
the exception rather than the norm. According to a
recent Associated Press-Ipsos Poll, people are more
rude today then 20+ years ago. Parents are
finding they have less and less time to teach basic
character issues to their children and manners are
going by the wayside.
If We Don't Teach our Kids Who Will?
What we are talking about is
respect; for yourself and for the other person. When
you treat someone respectfully, you are making a
statement about who you are. Nowadays some
children seem to lack respect for elders, teachers
and parents. Is it the affluence in our society that
world of convenience, entitlement and less social
contact? We need to think about our kids' absorption
in the world of cell
phones, videos, computers and other electronic
Teaching our Kids to be Polite
So how can we change this trend and get our kids
back on track to being polite and respectful
individuals? The answer first lies in ourselves. As
parents, adults, mentors and guides we need to
model respectful behavior to others and to our
That may mean
turning off your cell phone in a store, saying "thank
you" to service providers such as waiters and clerks,
and containing "road rage" (comments and
gestures) in the
Children Need to be Acknowledged Too
It also means frequently saying thanks to your
children for lending a helping hand at home or for a
job well done. When they see you showing mutual
respect to them as well as to others, your children
be more likely to
behave respectfully and feel valued in the process.
Here are more TIPS for teaching our kids
and (not so) common courtesy:
- Clean Up After Yourself -
Throw away cups and wrappers in movie theatres;
in recycle bins at the train station; and
pick up after your pet.
- Public Places Are Not Meant to be Used for
Business - Private conversations are just that -
private. Find a quiet place to return cell
calls, text messages and to discipline your
- Respect Elders - Our seniors are a
wisdom from a lifetime of experiences and we are
wise to honor their presence.
- "Yes, Please; No, Thank You" - Mom, dad
our teachers taught us the fundamentals that we
should use everyday. Let's acknowledge even the
things that people
- Reach Out to Those in Need - Give help
to the ill
or distressed. Offer your seat (or the seat filled with
your packages) to someone who looks like they could
- Learn Polite Listening - Listen with
and don't interrupt. Stop typing, take off
turn off the
TV and put down the video game, Blackberry or other
- Get Social - Interact with people rather
"tuning" out. Play word games instead of watching
videos on a long car ride and have family fun.
- Learn to Greet Others - By saying hello
goodbye when entering/exiting a room or meeting
you acknowledge their presence and show that you
- Return and Send Timely Calls, Emails and
Thank You Notes - Sometimes we avoid
because there's too much effort involved or we don't
think it is important. Keep it
simple. A short response is better than none at all.
of thumb on thank you's: Do not use the gift before
the note is in the mail.
- Wait Your Turn- Yes, we did learn most
these manners in Kindergarten. Holding a door
for someone behind you and waiting in line at the
movies instead of cutting in are the "basics". Let's
attention to courteous behavior
and make that part of the legacy we give our
By charity, goodness, restraint, and self-control
men and woman alike can store up a well-hidden
treasure -- a treasure which cannot be given to
others and which robbers cannot steal. A wise person
should do good -- that is the treasure which will
not leave one.
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and media commentator who appears
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience as a relationship expert,
focusing on families, couples, parenting, aging well
and stress management.
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
SistersFrom the Heart:
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
Wedding Sanity Savers
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW
Wedding Sanity Savers
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
Now in Paperback!