As we enter August, some of us are feeling as
if we are deep into summer, eager to get into
or stay in our vacation mode while others of
us are getting into the "back to school"
mentality. This way of thinking applies to
"back to work" or "back to the routine" so
be aware that you are enjoying the moment
instead of looking too far into the
future; you will miss out on NOW if you are
not careful. Before you think about
"going back to anything" savor the moments
you have right now. Whether or not you are on
vacation, create time to do something special
for yourself and with those you love.
Shifting Dependency: When Children
Leave discusses the issues families face
when children going off to college or new
jobs bring about changes at home
for the ones left behind.
In this month's tips, Tips for a Happy
Marriage or Relationship, I offer suggestions
to help couples get their relationships on
track and keep the romance alive in the midst
of daily life.
Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com
for updates on my appearances related to my
new book, Sanity
Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced
Life. I am proud to be a member of the
Westin Renewal Council, whose purpose
help people live the best life wherever they
are. Please click Westin
Renewal Council for some personal renewal
tips. And if you
me to speak to your group or organization,
please contact me directly at
firstname.lastname@example.org or contact the
Speakers' Bureau at HarperCollins.
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Wishing you health, peace and balance.
|Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
Now In Bookstores!
SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to
Balanced Life is out in bookstores and
with suggestions to save
every day of the week.
A must for any woman
seeking to find her balance!
Shifting Dependency: When Children Leave
As the summer comes to a close, those who
have depended on the help they receive from
their older children with household chores or
child care for younger siblings are now in
for a major change in their lives as those
older children leave the nest for college,
the military, or employment far from home.
Often, parents who work outside of their
homes rely on older children as a way to keep
the family fully functioning, whether they
are helping with food shopping, escorting
younger kids from camp or day care, preparing
meals and generally helping out with younger
Shifting responsibilities can lead to
for all family members prior to and during
the transition. Younger children in
particular may be prone to fear. However,
some early planning
and outreach to your support network
you, and your children, offset the stress of
circumstances. This is the time to connect
neighbors, discover well supervised community
programs, and special events organized
through the local religious organizations
(whether or not you are members.)
While some children build a
strong sense of
independence and competency others are not
comfortable at all. They feel more secure with
other people around. For those who are not
thrilled about being alone, try to organize
activities where their time alone is
minimized. Consider visits with a neighbor
who is homebound. The child can read to them,
play games, water their plants, or just keep
them company. Both can benefit, especially if
there is a generational gap.
Check out which libraries or sports
may need helpers and inquire whether the
local pet shop can use another set of hands
to help out with the animals or cleaning out
the fish tanks.
Providing projects for your child to
in and complete during his or her time at
home can give a sense of purpose and
Children who have hobbies such as reading,
working with their hands, knitting, sewing,
quilting, putting together models, drawing,
making puppets, collecting and arranging
stamps can, and do, get lost in those
activities and feel a sense of
accomplishment and comfort.
If your child does not have
such interests, while your older children are
home, ask them to learn such a skill with
your younger child or provide a place where
they can learn something they did not know
For the time you are not at home, touch base
via cell phone and instant message so you and
your child are connected.
Finally, assure your older child that
will miss them, and their contribution to the
family, that this is now their time to branch
out and have their own life. You will
A Good Daily Habit
Why is it that so many of us stop
So often we stifle our laughter, even though
nothing feels quite as good (or is as good
for you) as a true belly laugh - the kind
that makes you cry. Laughter keeps you
young. If you have not had a good laugh to
day, now is the time to make that happen. Do
something that makes you smile and feel
Whatever it is, someday you will laugh about
it...so why not now?
|Sanity SaversTM TIPS
Tips for a Happy Marriage or Relationship
Keeping the Spark
Falling in love is great. Having a great
relationship is wonderful. Over time,
though, it can become easy to take your
relationship for granted. It is normal for
healthy relationships and marriages to go
through phases, and we all need to be aware
that we have the power to make them better.
When "life gets in the way" and time
pressures and stress from work, family
obligations, and money get the better of us,
couples lose sight of the "we" and focus only
on the "I." Here are some Sanity Savers to
keep you focused on the "we" from the get-go.
- Commit Yourself - Commit yourself
to this person and believe you will build a
life and a future together. Give a whole lot
more than 60% to the other
person and to the relationship every day.
- Respect Your Mate - Demonstrate
respect through your words, actions, thoughts
and non-verbal communication. Be willing to see
his or her point of view.
- Take Responsibility for
Yourself - Nobody is perfect, not even you.
Hold yourself accountable for your own
stuff...the positive and the negative.
- Spend Quality Time Together - Take
a class, work together for a cause, or do
something enojoyable that encourages growth
for both of you.
- Create a Refuge for the Two of
You - Create a nurturing, safe and honest
space where you can be comfortable talking
about anything .
- Savor Each Moment - There are no
perfect people, but there are perfect
moments. String them together as best as you
- Laugh as Much as You Can-
...Together and on your own. Having a sense
of humor is a common ingredient to all good
Caring for your relationship takes energy and
focus, but the rewards are worth the effort.
They do not love that do not show their love.
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and commentator in the media who
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience and focuses on living a
life, parenting, aging well, managing stress,
work transitions, family connections and healthy
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Wedding Sanity Savers
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
book . . .
Savers: Tips for Women to
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW!
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
Now in Paperback!