Now that the summer is winding down and you
are gearing up for the fall and what is often
a more scheduled routine, think about shifing
It is never too early to consider the life
values you wish to pass on to family
members and friends. In Ethical Wills
I discuss the importance of reflecting on
your own life and sharing what is truly
important to you in a way that makes it easy
to pass along your perspective, insights and
knowledge to your family, friends and
In this month's tips, Tips for Mourning:
Taking the Time to Heal,
I offer suggestions for moving through
loss, at your own pace, and in your own way.
Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com
for updates on my appearances related to my
newest book, Sanity
Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced
Life. I am proud to be a member of the
Westin Renewal Council, whose purpose
help people live the best life wherever they
are. Please click Westin
Renewal Council for some personal renewal
tips. And if you
me to speak to your group or organization,
please contact me directly at
firstname.lastname@example.org or contact the
Speakers' Bureau at HarperCollins.
I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with
friends, loved ones and colleagues by
to a Friend button below.
Wishing you health, peace and balance.
|Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to
Balanced Life is in bookstores and
with suggestions to save
every day of the year.
A must for any woman
seeking to find her balance!
Ethical Wills: Pass Along Your Own Life's Lessons to Your Children and Grandchildren
Many of us are quite clear about making sure
we have a "last will and testament" or a
"living will" letting others know our
desires if we are unable to make choices for
ourselves when faced with medical decisions.
Few of us, though, are just as clear about
the footprint in the sand that we want to
leave. This is a gift for our families,
community. You can do this by writing an
Over time, whether our families
live near or far from us, we may or may not
take the time or create the situation to
engage with them in the way we would like.
With focus, clarity and intention, you can
share your thoughts, feelings, and values
with those you love. You can do this in
writing, on film, video, DVD,
audio tape, or any way that suits you. And
you can choose to reveal the contents of this
during your lifetime or leave it for after
point is that you give those who are
dear to you a look at what was and is
important to you; how you viewed and view
life. Composing an ethical will can help you
healthfully confront and come to terms
with death. The process can help you to focus
on what had meaning in your life and
helps to provide closure. Your
relatives and friends may or may not know
your life story, why you made the
choices you did, and what
you learned along the way. It can be helpful
to you and to them if you share specific
life lessons that you learned that
changed or reinforced your values. You may
wish to consider where and how forgiveness
factors in, and what were some of the dreams
you had and did not share.
You can ask yourself
questions to begin the thought process and
take notes or record your responses. This is
not a "one shot experience." You can keep a
notebook and write in it as you feel inspired
and then edit it (or not) with information
that is uniquely yours about your personal
values; what they are and how they have
evolved and changed over time.
Ethical wills are not legal documents, but
they may be the most important gift you can
leave to the people in your life.
TODAY Show (NBC)
Today -Weekend Edition
Please check the website
New Morning Show
September 17th: We're All a Work in
Hallmark Channel, 7:00am
Albert Einstein College of Medicine -
Westchester/ Fairfield Chapter
September 19th, 12:00PM: Luncheon Speaker,
Sanity Savers: Living a Balanced Life No
Matter What Happens
Old Oaks Country
Club, 3100 Purchase St., Purchase, NY
YWCA of Greenwich- "Center for Women's
Leadership" and the Greenwich Library
Peterson Business Program Series (Generous
sponsorship by Westin Hotels)
September 19th, 6:30-8:30PM: Guest
Barbara Scala, Sanity
care ADvantage , Summer 2007 issue
A publication for the Alzheimer's
Foundation of America for caregivers of
people with Alzheimer's Disease and related
illnesses. Article:Caregiver Burnout, page
Kaboose Article See link http://just-for-mom.kaboose.com/celebrity/mom-confessions.html
A Good Daily Habit
Caring for a Pet
If you live alone, have an empty nest, or
have recently retired, having the right pet
companionship can save your sanity while
enhancing the quality of your life. Caring
for a pet
helps you stay balanced as you experience the joy
of caregiving and become the
recipient of unconditional love.
Companionship comes in many forms. Do not
overlook the value of the human-pet bond.
|Sanity SaversTM TIPS
Tips for Mourning:
Taking Time to Heal
Moving through mourning can take a VERY LONG
Life is filled with loss. Although we may try
to avoid it, it is unavoidable. Each of us
needs to find our own style and timeframe for
For some people, particularly those of us who
have experienced multiple losses in a short
period of time, we ask, Why Me? We wonder
whether feelings of happiness, pleasure,
appreciation will ever return. We seriously
question when we will be able to go through a
day without crying for most of it.
At the same time, we are not really sure
whether we can truly be ourselves
when we are with those who love us and who
have supported us through our darkest times.
We fear they may have had enough of our
anguish. We may feel our friends expect us to
"bounce back", "get on with our lives", "stop
feeling sorry for ourselves" but the truth
is, we just don't have the energy, desire,
interest, or skills to rebuild a shattered
life. To protect them (and ourselves) we may
spend more time alone so we can avoid the
pressure to put on a happy face or act as if
we are doing better than we actually are.
Bear in mind that healing from loss is a
process that generally takes longer than we
imagine. Perhaps these tips can help.
- Tune Into Your Personal Energy
Level - Be
careful about how much you push yourself each
day. Honor your feelings on days when you
have some energy, as well as those days when
your energy fades.
- Evaluate Your Schedule with
Friends - Spend time doing only those
things where you feel no pressure at all to
actively engage if you are not yet ready.
- Honor or Construct Rituals -
Rituals can help you through your loss. If
you feel comfortable, invite your friends
into the "ritual space" so they can witness,
appreciate and support you as you proceed
through this time.
- Focus - Focus on all of your
blessings as you give
yourself room and permission to mourn in
your own way.
You can keep loved ones' spirits alive and
with you as you think of them, talk about
them, and remember the way they touched your
Remembered joys are never past; at once the
fountain, stream, and sea, they were, they
are, they shall yet be.
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and commentator in the media who
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience and focuses on living a
life, parenting, aging well, managing stress,
work transitions, family connections and healthy
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Wedding Sanity Savers
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
book . . .
Savers: Tips for Women to
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW!
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
Now in Paperback!