As we have a taste of autumn and get into
routines we have an opportunity to think
about what we might do if we had a second
chance with someone, how would we behave? What
would we do if we were able to revisit an
experience that we are not happy about that
occurred in our lives? How would we respond
if we were in the position of giving someone
a second chance? For many of us we don't ever
have that opportunity but for some, we may
have a chance to "make something right." In
Second Chances I discuss what it takes
to make those interactions successful.
In this month's tips, Transitioning From
Work to Home I offer practical
suggestions for keeping yourself balanced as
you integrate (some might say juggle) the
different parts of yourself needed for the
various roles you assume at work and at home.
Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com
for updates on my appearances related to my
newest book, Sanity
Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced
Life. I am proud to be a member of the
Westin Renewal Council, whose purpose
help people live the best life wherever they
are. Please click Westin
Renewal Council for some personal renewal
tips. And if you
me to speak to your group or organization,
please contact me directly at
email@example.com or contact the
Speakers' Bureau at HarperCollins.
I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with
friends, loved ones and colleagues by
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Wishing you health, peace and balance.
|Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to
Balanced Life is in bookstores and
with suggestions to save
every day of the year.
A must for any woman
seeking to find her balance!
Do you believe every individual deserves a
second chance? There is value in second
chances, and it is worthwhile to consider
what we can do when we get them.
We do not have the right to judge others,
and with this in mind everyone deserves a
second chance. Second chances
are about having faith in the ability
changes in those who want the second
chance as well as those who are giving the second
The underlying question is whether the person
who gets the second chance appreciates having
the opportunity to "make something right".
When someone does something that warrants a
second chance they often do not realize the
consequences of their actions (the first
time) on the other person (or people). The
person who is getting a second chance needs
to develop empathy.
If someone does not have empathy and cannot
appreciate the hurt or disappointment or loss
of confidence or trust, then they are not as
understand the magnitude of this second
chance and they may whittle it away.
Additionally, the person who is "giving" the
other person a second chance has to be able
to let go of the need to punish or
remind them that they are on "thin ice." If
you are not able to
allow the past to stay in the past and give
this person the love and encouragement
necessary to "begin again" and make
right, then the chances for success are slim.
When an opportunity to experience a second
chance arises, think about what you REALLY
want. How do you think your life will be
different or better if you were to have the
opportunity to have a second chance? What
would that feel like? Think about what you
specifically need to do to make that change
People need to be able to act as if they
already had the second chance so they can see
themselves as the person they want to be.
They need to practice, through role play,
how they will react if all of the
circumstances remain the same and they face
the same obstacles. For example, if
they are dealing with their own volatile
temper and their
spouse does something to infuriate them,
how will they use their second chance to
Can you forgive yourself or someone else?
Can you attempt to understand
what propelled you or them to this behavior?
If you can, you may open yourself to the
possibility of unseen benefits to you
TODAY Show (NBC)
Today -Weekend Edition
Please check the website
New Morning Show
Please check the website
Hallmark Channel, 7:00am
WOR Morning Show
With Joe Bartlett and
October 1, 5-9AM: Topic: Tania
Interviewed by Joe Bartlett and
Radio 710 HD, New York City
NYC Child Study Center, Monthly
October 15th, 12-1:30PM: Guest Speaker,
Topic: Caring for Aging Parents
New York, NY
October 16th, 2-3:15PM:
Women in Midlife: Crisis or
New York City
Because We Are Women: Celebrating
October 20th, 8AM -3:00PM: Featured Guest
Savers: Balancing Your Life and Getting What
The Palace at Somerset Park,
A Good Daily Habit
Breaking a Habit
Do you have a habit you would like to break?
Our habits are very tied to "triggers" that
have become routine. For example, if you
always get a cup of
coffee at your local coffee shop and want to
cut down on caffeine, take a different
route. Cross the street and try healthier
herb tea at a different place. When you
environment, the time of day, the
"connections" to the habit it is easier
to change your behavior.
Rewards may keep you motivated and may lead
to a new, positive habit in your life.
|Sanity SaversTM TIPS
Tips for Transitioning:
From Work to Home
Fall is here and your kids have settled
into their school routine. You are getting
back into your own schedule. Then why do you
find yourself rushing and
whizzing through your life, flitting from
thing to thing?
If this describes you, you may need to pay
attention to transitions. Give yourself space
to think, to
reflect, to feel the results of what you are
doing, with whom you spend time, and the
effects of your daily life experiences. Pay
to your breath, your physical response to
things so you can observe what is going on.
In a demanding world with practically
transitioning from one thing to another, in
particular from work to home, can be a
When you choose to shut out the rest of the
world to have time and space for yourself, and
those relationships that are meaningful to
you, consider these tips:
- Take Time Out - Decide and declare
phone free, cell free, blackberry free, text
message free, e-mail free, computer free
times so you can truly be responsive to
yourself, your significant other, children or
- Unwind Before Coming Home -
During the last part of your commute,
designate time to listen to music or a book
on tape, work a crossword puzzle, knit, or
write in a journal. Stop talking on the cell
phone or texting or sending work related
e-mails. You are better off winding down and
shifting gears so whe you gear up for work
you will have a new perspective.
- Visualize Yourself Feeling "At
Before you walk through the door, take a deep
breath. See yourself calmly interacting.
- Establish New Routines -Walk in,
walk around and feel the
space. Change out of your work clothes.
Slowly drink a glass of water, take a deep
breath and then begin your evening routine
(prepare dinner, sort through the mail, and
listen to your voicemail.).
- Greet Those At Home -If you live with
people, greet them in a way you would like to be
greeted. Look happy to see them . If there are
children waiting for you, give a hug,
physically get down to their level and ask
them to tell you
something about their day. Listen. Be
present. If you have pets,
acknowledge them and spend a few moments
By transitioning from work to home and
allowing yourself to fully experience being
at home and appreciating your space and those
in it, you will be better able to be present
for yourself and those with whom you live.
Figure out what you need to do to transform
your home into a sanctuary instead of a
stress filled zone.
If you are not going to be any better
tomorrow than you were today, then what need
have you for tomorrow?
Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and commentator in the media who
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience and focuses on living a
life, parenting, aging well, managing stress,
work transitions, family connections and healthy
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Wedding Sanity Savers
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
book . . .
Savers: Tips for Women to
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW!
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
Now in Paperback!