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Sanity SaversTM and More...
October 2007

Greetings!

As we have a taste of autumn and get into routines we have an opportunity to think about what we might do if we had a second chance with someone, how would we behave? What would we do if we were able to revisit an experience that we are not happy about that occurred in our lives? How would we respond if we were in the position of giving someone a second chance? For many of us we don't ever have that opportunity but for some, we may have a chance to "make something right." In Second Chances I discuss what it takes to make those interactions successful.

In this month's tips, Transitioning From Work to Home I offer practical suggestions for keeping yourself balanced as you integrate (some might say juggle) the different parts of yourself needed for the various roles you assume at work and at home.

Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com for updates on my appearances related to my newest book, Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life. I am proud to be a member of the Westin Renewal Council, whose purpose is to help people live the best life wherever they are. Please click Westin Renewal Council for some personal renewal tips. And if you would like me to speak to your group or organization, please contact me directly at dale@drdaleatkins.com or contact the Speakers' Bureau at HarperCollins.

I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with your friends, loved ones and colleagues by clicking Send to a Friend button below.

Wishing you health, peace and balance.

Dale

In this issue
  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    In Bookstores!
  • Sanity SaversTM
    Second Chances
  • Happenings
  • Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit
  • Sanity SaversTM TIPS
    Tips for Transitioning:
    From Work to Home
  • A Thought

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    In Bookstores!
    SS Book Cover

    SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is in bookstores and is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

    A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!


    Sanity SaversTM
    Second Chances

    Do you believe every individual deserves a second chance? There is value in second chances, and it is worthwhile to consider what we can do when we get them.

    We do not have the right to judge others, and with this in mind everyone deserves a second chance. Second chances are about having faith in the ability to make changes in those who want the second chance as well as those who are giving the second chance.

    The underlying question is whether the person who gets the second chance appreciates having the opportunity to "make something right". When someone does something that warrants a second chance they often do not realize the consequences of their actions (the first time) on the other person (or people). The person who is getting a second chance needs to develop empathy. If someone does not have empathy and cannot appreciate the hurt or disappointment or loss of confidence or trust, then they are not as likely to understand the magnitude of this second chance and they may whittle it away.

    Additionally, the person who is "giving" the other person a second chance has to be able to let go of the need to punish or remind them that they are on "thin ice." If you are not able to allow the past to stay in the past and give this person the love and encouragement necessary to "begin again" and make something right, then the chances for success are slim.

    When an opportunity to experience a second chance arises, think about what you REALLY want. How do you think your life will be different or better if you were to have the opportunity to have a second chance? What would that feel like? Think about what you specifically need to do to make that change happen.

    People need to be able to act as if they already had the second chance so they can see themselves as the person they want to be. They need to practice, through role play, how they will react if all of the circumstances remain the same and they face the same obstacles. For example, if they are dealing with their own volatile temper and their spouse does something to infuriate them, how will they use their second chance to react differently?

    Can you forgive yourself or someone else? Can you attempt to understand what propelled you or them to this behavior? If you can, you may open yourself to the possibility of unseen benefits to you and the other person.


    Happenings

    TODAY Show (NBC)
    Today -Weekend Edition
    Please check the website www.drdaleatkins.com for updated listings.

    New Morning Show
    Please check the website www.drdaleatkins.com for updated listings.
    Hallmark Channel, 7:00am

    WOR Morning Show
    With Joe Bartlett and Donna Hanover
    October 1, 5-9AM: Topic: Tania Head
    Interviewed by Joe Bartlett and Lisa Birnbach
    Radio 710 HD, New York City

    NYC Child Study Center, Monthly Supervision Luncheon
    October 15th, 12-1:30PM: Guest Speaker, Topic: Caring for Aging Parents
    New York, NY

    Makor Program
    October 16th, 2-3:15PM: Women in Midlife: Crisis or Opportunity?
    New York City
    http://www.92y.org/shop/event_detail.asp?productid=T%2DMD5LP03

    Because We Are Women: Celebrating Possibilities
    October 20th, 8AM -3:00PM: Featured Guest Speaker, Sanity Savers: Balancing Your Life and Getting What You Want
    The Palace at Somerset Park, Somerset, NJ
    http://www.becausewearewomen.com/index.htm





    Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit

    Breaking a Habit

    Do you have a habit you would like to break? Our habits are very tied to "triggers" that have become routine. For example, if you always get a cup of coffee at your local coffee shop and want to cut down on caffeine, take a different route. Cross the street and try healthier herb tea at a different place. When you alter the environment, the time of day, the "connections" to the habit it is easier to change your behavior.

    Rewards may keep you motivated and may lead to a new, positive habit in your life.


    Sanity SaversTM TIPS
    Tips for Transitioning:
    From Work to Home

    Fall is here and your kids have settled into their school routine. You are getting back into your own schedule. Then why do you find yourself rushing and whizzing through your life, flitting from thing to thing?

    If this describes you, you may need to pay attention to transitions. Give yourself space to think, to reflect, to feel the results of what you are doing, with whom you spend time, and the effects of your daily life experiences. Pay attention to your breath, your physical response to things so you can observe what is going on. In a demanding world with practically non-stop communication, transitioning from one thing to another, in particular from work to home, can be a challenge.

    When you choose to shut out the rest of the world to have time and space for yourself, and those relationships that are meaningful to you, consider these tips:

    • Take Time Out - Decide and declare phone free, cell free, blackberry free, text message free, e-mail free, computer free times so you can truly be responsive to yourself, your significant other, children or parents.
    • Unwind Before Coming Home - During the last part of your commute, designate time to listen to music or a book on tape, work a crossword puzzle, knit, or write in a journal. Stop talking on the cell phone or texting or sending work related e-mails. You are better off winding down and shifting gears so whe you gear up for work you will have a new perspective.
    • Visualize Yourself Feeling "At Home" - Before you walk through the door, take a deep breath. See yourself calmly interacting.
    • Establish New Routines -Walk in, walk around and feel the space. Change out of your work clothes. Slowly drink a glass of water, take a deep breath and then begin your evening routine (prepare dinner, sort through the mail, and listen to your voicemail.).
    • Greet Those At Home -If you live with people, greet them in a way you would like to be greeted. Look happy to see them . If there are children waiting for you, give a hug, physically get down to their level and ask them to tell you something about their day. Listen. Be present. If you have pets, acknowledge them and spend a few moments together.

      By transitioning from work to home and allowing yourself to fully experience being at home and appreciating your space and those in it, you will be better able to be present for yourself and those with whom you live.

      Figure out what you need to do to transform your home into a sanctuary instead of a stress filled zone.


    A Thought

    If you are not going to be any better tomorrow than you were today, then what need have you for tomorrow?

    Rabbi Nachman of Bratslav


    DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, lecturer and commentator in the media who appears on the Today show.

    She has more than twenty- five years of experience and focuses on living a balanced life, parenting, aging well, managing stress, life & work transitions, family connections and healthy relationships.

    Dr. Atkins is the author and/or co-editor of several books including:

  • Sisters
  • From the Heart:
    Men and Women Write Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives
  • Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children
  • I'm OK, You're My Parents
    How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that Works
  • Wedding Sanity Savers
    How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day.
  • And her new book . . .

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
  • .

    Find out more....
    Quick Links...

    DrDaleAtkins.com

    BloomOnLine.com
    Dr. Dale's Sanity Savers for a Balanced Life

    KathleenDaelemans.com
    Dr. Dale's Healthy Eating & Lifestyle Advice

    WeddingChannel.com
    Dr. Dale's Wedding Advice

    Contact Us

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    I'm OK
    You're My Parents
    How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works

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