In Couples Living Apart for the Sake of a
Paycheck I discuss the issues couples and
families face when they choose to live apart for
economic reasons. By anticipating what to
planning ahead, couples and families can
this change in lifestyle with resilience.
In Warning Signs of Teen Depression I
suggestions for being alert to teenagers'
and mental well being. It is imperative that
in our children's lives respond to them
compassionately and follow up with appropriate
concern, empathy, and when needed, assistance.
Today's teenagers feel enormous pressure to
achieve academically, to be well liked
socially, to look
great, perform athletically, musically,
all while figuring out who they are and what
As you may know, Jumpstart is a national
early education nonprofit organization that
pairs caring adults with underserved
preschoolers in year long one-to-one
mentoring relationships. Visit www.jstart.org
to learn more about Jumpstart and events.
If you would like to make a contribution,
you may do so at www.jstart.org/don
Once again thank you for helping to get the
word out about Sanity Savers: Tips for
Women to Live a Balanced Life.
Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.
updates on my appearances related to my
newest book, Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to
Live a Balanced Life. For those of you with
wedding related questions, please see my
column on WeddingChannel.com at:
And if you would like me to speak to your
group or organization, please contact me
directly at firstname.lastname@example.org or contact
the Speakers' Bureau at
I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with
your friends, loved ones and colleagues by
clicking Send to a Friend button
Wishing you health, peace and balance.
|Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to
Balanced Life is in bookstores and
with suggestions to save
every day of the year.
A must for any woman
seeking to find her balance!
Couples Living Apart for the Sake of a Paycheck
The term "geographic single" is often used to
describe persons who live apart from those
they love. Families are experiencing strains
that did not exist for them before, forcing
them to make all sorts of changes and
adjustments. They become "commuter
for the sake
of a paycheck. The global economy has built
in expectations that people can live far from
where they work, and technology makes it
Some people are taking opportunities
in places where
they don't want to move their family, or they
to uproot their children and their social and
networks. Others may not be able to afford to
their spouses give up their income. In
or selling a house may just not be feasible
market. In "the olden days" people often
because it was often the best way to earn
support their families. Many immigrants still
way. One or two family members live in "the
opportunity" and support the rest of the clan
with the hope of making enough money to
their country and live a better life.
Alternatively, they work toward the time that
they will send for their families to join
them here. However most people in the USA
to a model of living together on a regular
rely on regular interaction and participating in
activities such as eating meals, daily
family oriented activities, household
and decision-making together.
If you and your partner face a situation of
living apart, it
is a good idea to have an open discussion of the
upcoming separation and how you will cope.
your concerns and fears honestly. Share your
expectations about being apart from each
there are fewer opportunities for
Discuss your expectations for visits and
Develop a plan for establishing areas of
responsibilities and decision-making when you
Good communication is essential to
couple and family relationship healthy,
during separations. Be mindful of how you
connected over the miles; how you will "keep
Set up a communication system and know how you
will be in touch on a daily, weekly, monthly
International phone calls, video
through computer, SKYPE, international mail
and electronic transmissions of words,
photos, and video keep you connected to your
ones through cyberspace. LIFE IS STILL IN THE
DETAILS so keep that in mind when you find
enrich your relationships even if you are on
side of the world.
During this time, plan for chunks of time
just an occasional weekend. Think in terms of
days. When you are together, plan alone time
you will not talk about the "business" of
family. Be sure to focus on fun, dreams,
When the family is together, do 'family"
spouse who lives out of the house can feel as
if he or
she is an outsider in their own home or
can feel as if they are "missing" something..
the family in fun activities allows the
acclimate to one another and pick up the
rhythm of the
family and household.
TODAY Show (NBC)
Please check www.drdaleatkins.co
for current appearances.
Counseling Workshop: For Professionals
Working with Families Affected by Hearing
March 16: 9AM - 12:00PM, Speaker, Topic:
Counseling Issues for Non-Counselors
The Children's Hearing Institute, 380
Second Ave., New York, NY 10010.
Register online at www.childrens
See article, Avoiding Wedding Woes, in
Image Magazine, Issue No.1, 2009. pg.
See also Black Tie International
Magazine, March 2009, for Dale's Sanity
Saving Tips at www.blacktiemagazine.com.
A Good Daily Habit
With so many changes in the workplace and in our
daily lives, it can be challenging to
maintain a sense of
peace, tranquility, and belonging. Everyday
can be a source of encouragement, comfort and
reassurance. They can also help us gain
we are dealing with change.
Morning coffee and reading the newspaper,
the dog along a familiar path, calling a
friend at the
same time each week can be simple ways to
a familiar pattern. Everyday routines can become
rituals if you pay close attention to them
and focus on
the change you hope to experience.
Keep it simple. Rituals can be as simple as
candle or filling a vase with flowers or
thinking a special
thought. The object is comfort.
|Sanity SaversTM TIPS
Tips For Catching Warning Signs
Because teens are not quite children and not
quite adults, they can often feel isolated
and powerless in a world that wants them to
grow up and excel but does so by giving them
mixed signals. All of these pressures,
along with the normal physical and emotional
changes of adolescence, cause many teens to
experience depression and turn to drugs or
other forms of behavior that usually have a
negative impact on them and their sense of
As adults in our children's lives we need to look
for early warning signs and intervene
compassionately, responding with appropriate
concern and action. These are some warning
signs when teens become depressed:
- Radical and Otherwise Unexplained
Personality / Mood Changes
- Consistently Sleeping More or Less
- Withdrawing From Family and
- Loss of Interest in Activities
- Self-punishing Behaviors Such as
Bingeing on Food, Starving (marked weight
gain or loss),
- Overuse of Drugs, Alcohol
- Overly Sexualized Behavior
Many of these signs or symptoms overlap. If
you are seeing a cluster of signs, and they
are more than just normal adolescence,
arrange to have him/her seen by a
professional. Spend a lot more time with your
teen. It could be just sitting in her room
and really listening or trying some new
activity of his choosing together, whether or
not you think you would enjoy it.
Life is about not knowing, having to change,
taking the moment and making the best of it
without knowing what's going to happen next.
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and commentator in the media who
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience and focuses on living a
life, parenting, aging well, managing stress,
work transitions, family connections and healthy
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Wedding Sanity Savers
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
book . . .
Savers: Tips for Women to
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW!
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
Now in Paperback!