In Finding the Work - Life Balance,
I talk about maintaining reasonable
expectations when juggling elements of
In Dating Over 50, I suggest tips to
help you enter the dating world.
WE CAN ALL ADDRESS THE LITERACY
CRISIS IN THIS
COUNTRY. Jumpstart is a national
early education nonprofit organization that
pairs caring adults with underserved
preschoolers in year long one-to-one
mentoring relationships. Visit www.jstart.org
to learn more about Jumpstart and
If you would like to make a contribution,
you may do so at
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word out about Sanity Savers: Tips for
Women to Live a Balanced Life.
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Wishing you health, peace and balance.
|Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to
Balanced Life is in bookstores and
with suggestions to save
every day of the year.
A must for any woman
seeking to find her balance!
Finding the Work - Life Balance
It is possible to have balance in your life
IF you understand that, like a see-saw,
balance takes some delicate shifting and
constant monitoring. Invariably, life, like
that see-saw, will have someone jumping off
the other end and send you flying. That's
life, but also part of the balancing act.
Some times are much more challenging than
others. The way to deal with the everyday and the
unexpected is to have a formula in place.
Instead of hanging on to old habits which may
not work anymore, think about what makes your
Visualize yourself juggling lots of life
balls (name each one: children, partner, work,
friends, housekeeping, community service,
fitness, social life, older parents,
spiritual life, hobbies, etc.) and notice
that when one or more balls fall, you likely
focus on those rather than the ones you are
Some of those balls on the floor need to be
put down for a while; a day, a week, a year,
longer, while some balls get bigger and
smaller. The work ball may be
manageable until your peer gets laid off and
you are now handling more of a workload than
is reasonable. The family ball may be
manageable until you pick up the phone and
learn that your father who lives 2,000 miles
away had a stroke and your brother is out of
the country. So, putting those balls down
when you have to in order to keep balance is
a healthy thing to do.
The one ball you don't want to put down, no
matter what is going on, is the "take care of
me" ball. You need to keep that one in the
air (a walk in the morning, a quiet
meditation, reading a list of the things you
are grateful for, etc.). This is the ball that
allows you to keep many of the others in the
Work life balance is about maintaining
reasonable expectations, understanding that
things will be out of balance from time to
time. Everything is temporary. You
focus on small areas of your life to maintain
balance during particularly difficult times
(bringing your best friend with you when go
to a scary doctor's appointment), keeping
your eye on the important aspects of life,
being grateful for that which you already
have, taking care of yourself, being as
organized as possible (so you find your keys
quickly) inviting, training, and allowing
people to help (teaching your partner or
your kids how to shop for food, prepare
healthy meals), appreciate and be satisfied
with "less than perfect."
So, take a breath, be fully present, smile,
and appreciate that moment.
TODAY Show (NBC)
Please check my website,
for the most current updates.
Silver Bridge Advisors
Feb. 2: 6PM Panel Discussion: Raising
Financially Thoughtful Children.
Institute of Contemporary Art/Boston
RIDBC Renwick Centre, Royal Institute for
Deaf and Blind Children
Feb. 22nd-24th: Keeping the Balance:
Professionals, Families, Children and Young
Adults with Sensory Impairment
North Rocks, Australia
Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Family
Involvement and Counseling in Serving
Children Who Possess Impaired Hearing,"
in the new text, Introduction
to Aural Rehabilitation.
Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by
See Making the Case for Family
Dinners, at iVillage.com: http://www.ivillage.com/making-case-
See Dr. Atkins' and Rabbi E. Mencher's
Are You a Buttinsky?, in Reform
Fall 2009/5769, pg. 8. www
There is also a complimentary discussion
guide offering thoughtful questions for
A Good Daily Habit
Five Minute Breaks
When you are run down and feeling drained,
the choices you make are not the same as when
you are feeling energized. Taking
frequent 5-minute breaks throughout your day
helps to reduce your level of stress.
Consider walking outside, visualizing your
accomplished, breathing deeply from your
belly, or listening to your favorite music as
|Sanity SaversTM TIPS
Over 50 and Dating
Tips For Today's Dating
Dating when you are over 50 may seem
intimidating. You may worry about not being
as attractive as when you were younger. Or,
are "out of practice" or that your "best years"
are behind you. In addition, the rules of
the dating world and game have changed. It is
less formal and more internet based.
Rather than focus on the negative, look at
the positive about yourself. You do not need
to feel overwhelmed by either the process or
the prospects. Remind yourself that you
are experienced, more mature, and likely have
confidence that you may not have had in your
Here are some tips for
for moving forward:
Go Online -
Use the internet not just as a way to find
Mr. or Miss Right, but expand your network.
Meet new and reconnect with people from your
past with similar interests as yours. Look
at social networking sites such as MEETUP.COM
and FACEBOOK. Be careful
not to give too much personal information
(phone numbers, addresses, e-mail addresses
etc.). Meet people at public places . Tell
a friend where you are, check in with them so
your date knows someone knows where you are.
Consider What Is Really Important To
What was important when you were younger
(starting a family, financial security) may
not be as important now (having fun,
comfort, kindness, adventure). Are you looking
for someone to marry? Someone to be connected
to without legal entanglement? Someone to
date or travel with or go to dinner with?
Someone to have a sexual relationship with?
Be clear about what you want and what is
Approach Dating As An Adventure -
Be open and have a positive attitude. Keep
it light and be forgiving, flexible, tolerant
about age and appearance. Go out of your
comfort zone and consider meeting people from
different backgrounds, age groups, cultures,
races, and religions.
Widen Your Experiences - You need to be
interesting. Keep current and aware of what
is "hip and in." Engage the people you meet.
Enroll in a class, learn something you are
curious about, begin a hobby, and develop a
passion that has been on hold.
Keep both your mind and heart open.
Appreciate that dating today is different
from the way it was and that can be a very
good thing. Take initiative, take a risk,
and learn about yourself in the process.
"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your
balance you must keep moving."
DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist,
lecturer and commentator in the media who
on the Today show.
She has more than twenty-
years of experience and focuses on living a
life, parenting, aging well, managing stress,
work transitions, family connections and healthy
Dr. Atkins is the author
and/or co-editor of several books including:
Their Private Thoughts about their Private
Families and their Hearing-Impaired
OK, You're My Parents
Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that
Wedding Sanity Savers
Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and
Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect
book . . .
Savers: Tips for Women to
Find out more....
As Seen on the TODAY SHOW!
Wedding Sanity Savers
How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day
You're My Parents
How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works
Now in Paperback!