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Sanity SaversTM and More...
April 2011

Greetings!

In-Law Parents is a brief discussion of ways to enrich a relationship with one's daughter or son-in-law that too few people consider.

Because of the recent news of the world, it made sense to me to offer some simple suggestions for becoming better prepared should we be in the path of a disaster, which I do in Emergency Preparedness I offer simple suggestions for becoming better prepared should we be in the path of a disaster.

WE CAN ALL ADDRESS THE LITERACY CRISIS IN THIS COUNTRY. Jumpstart is a national early education nonprofit organization that pairs well-trained, caring adults with underserved preschoolers who live in poverty in year long mentoring relationships. Visit www.jstart.org to learn more about Jumpstart, initiatives - such as Scribbles to Novels, May 4th, 2011; Playdate With A Purpose; and Read for the Record. Please contribute by clicking on www.jstart.org/donate.

There is something that every single one of us can do to help those less fortunate. Over one million children live below the poverty level in the U.S. This shameful situation must change. Each of us has a responsibility to repair our world.

Please see Marlo Thomas' new website, www.marlothomas.com, where I discuss psychology and relationship issues. Marlo Thomas and I talk about families and the holidays. Tune in for some sanity saving ideas for YOUR family gatherings.

Once again thank you for continuing to read and talk about Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life.

Check my website, www.drdaleatkins.com for updates on my appearances and use the Quick Links sidebar to access ongoing articles. I am available to speak to your group or organization. Please contact me directly at dale@drdaleatkins.com or contact the Speakers' Bureau at HarperCollins.

I appreciate you sharing this newsletter with your friends, loved ones, and colleagues by clicking Send to a Friend button below.

Wishing you health, peace and balance.

Dale

In this issue
  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
  • Sanity SaversTM
    In-Law Parents
  • Happenings
  • Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit
  • Sanity SaversTM TIPS

    Emergency Preparedness
  • A Thought

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
    SS Book Cover

    SANITY SAVERS: Tips for Women to Live A Balanced Life is filled with suggestions to save your sanity every day of the year.

    A must for any woman seeking to find her balance!


    Sanity SaversTM
    In-Law Parents
    mother and daughter

    If you have a daughter or son-in-law with whom you want to have a good relationship, make every effort to get to know her or him. Tell yourself that you WILL do everything possible to see this person through your adult child's eyes. When you do this, you are moving in the direction of creating a solid in-law connection.

    At times, your relationship with your in-law child may play into some of your personal insecurities. You may notice that you two are having numerous misunderstandings. You may be fearful of saying the "wrong" thing, or you may not know what to do in a particular situation. What is important is to be open and accepting and refrain from offering your opinion or advice unless asked.

    Make every effort to respect the couple's privacy in ways that are meaningful to them. And perhaps, the most difficult part of all, especially when you first become a parent-in-law, is to appreciate that you are no longer first in line for your adult child's affection or secrets. Their spouse is becoming the person to whom they turn for advice and counsel. Mourning the loss of that element of your relationship is, indeed, a step in the process of adapting to life as an in-law parent. But hopefully, as you experience the loss, you can recognize the gain.

    You may love your daughter or son-in-law and may still feel uncomfortable being in "second place." If you don't like them, do not malign their character or tell your child what a terrible person their spouse is. Your adult child will surely defend their spouse and by sharing your dislike with them, you will alienate your child and strain your relationship. Attempt to work things out directly with your in-law child, and don't put your child between you.

    If you never had a daughter or a son, be cautious about jumping at the chance to do things together. Your in-law child may not be as eager to have this relationship in the same way as you. Feel it out. If you are going to help, consult first. Be careful about forcing anything on your adult children. Although difficult to accept at times, the reality is that they are now creating their own MARRIED life together, with their own tastes, opinions, and decisions.

    The most loving gift you can give your adult child is to fully welcome and accept his or her spouse into your heart as one of your own.


    Happenings

    TODAY Show (NBC)
    Please check website, www.drdaleatkins.com, for latest updates, including changes of time.

    Visit Marlo Thomas' site to access my relationship column and Mondays with Marlo video stream. http://marlothomas.aol.com/search/?q=dale+atkins

    Scribbles to Novels
    Join me and Zoe Saldana, Rosanne Cash, Harlan Coben, and Thomas Chatterton Williams on May 4th to celebrate the work of Jumpstart, www.jstart.org/site/PageServer?pagename=GetInvolved_Event_ScribblesNYC.

    Race to Nowhere (Documentary Film)
    Panelist discussing the film 3/22 and 3/29. Please feel free to contact Greenwich Hospital's Center for Integrative Medicine to have a discussion in your community. www.greenhosp.org/medicalservices_integrative.asp

    Darby and Friends
    April 1st: Talking About Difficult Things
    http://www.wgch.com/showarchive/dandf.shtml

    Jack Birnberg Speaks Out Radio Show
    April 29th: Alzheimer's Disease
    WVNJ 1160 AM, www.wvnj.com

    Read Dr. Atkins' And Edythe Mencher's article in Reform Judaism Magazine,
    Winter 2010 Issue, Cover Story: Behind Bullying, and When Jack Pushed Jill Down the Hill.
    Online at www.reformjudaismmag.com.

    Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Therapeutic Issues with Recipients of Cochlear Implants," in the new text, Psychotherapy With Deaf Clients From Diverse Groups, Second Edition.
    Edited by Irene Leigh, and published by Gallaudet University Press.

    Read Dr. Atkins' chapter, "Family Involvement and Counseling in Serving Children Who Possess Impaired Hearing," in the new text, Introduction to Aural Rehabilitation.
    Edited by Raymond H. Hull, and published by Plural Publishing.

    I invite you to visit my website to access archives of articles and interviews on line.


    Sanity SaversTM
    A Good Daily Habit
    helping

    Model Courteous Behavior

    In our rushed world, polite behavior is becoming the exception rather than the norm. Rudeness seems more prevalent today than twenty-plus years ago. Parents are finding they have less and less time to teach basic character issues to their children, and manners are going by the wayside.

    As parents, adults, mentors, and guides we need to model courteous behavior to others and to our children for lending a helping hand at home or for a job well done.

    When children see you showing mutual respect to them as well as to others, your children will be more likely to behave respectfully and feel valued in the process. And of course, children learn from models as well as from gentle reminders. When you expect a child to offer a please or thank you and they don't, a gentle and loving reminder helps to create a habit.

    Paying attention to our own considerate behavior will become part of the legacy we give our children.


    Sanity SaversTM TIPS

    Emergency Preparedness
    first aid

    Given the recent sudden calamities that have occurred in different parts of the world (earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, and fires) it seems wise to consider whether and how you are prepared.

    Without instilling panic in yourself or those you love, you can create a plan. Your plan can be for yourself and your family. If you are on your own, be sure you connect with someone who will be your "go-to" person.

    Here are some tips for emergency preparedness:

    Water - At a bare minimum a person needs about a gallon per day. Plan on having enough water per person to last three days; more would be even better. Clear plastic bottles are a good packaging for fluids. If there is a natural source of water nearby (river, lake, etc.) you can use it ONLY if you have a way to carry and sterilize the water.

    Medications - You need all prescription medicines that are essential to your life, as well as an adequate first aid kit.

    Electrical Alternatives - Since electricity and cell service may be interrupted, have a good flashlight with extra batteries. Consider a battery operated radio to help you receive important information.

    Food - Most likely you have enough food in the pantry to handle a couple of days. You may want to have one week's worth of food on hand. Canned foods (soup and other prepared foods) and dried foods (rice, pasta, energy bars) are best. Pack an "old-fashioned" can opener and camp stove with plates, cutlery and cups.

    Money - Keep some cash available. Power outages also affect ATMs and credit card machines.

    Extras - If power is out, gas tanks may not function. Be mindful of trying to keep your vehicle with a full tank (a good idea just for reducing anxiety if you need to leave the house in a hurry and don' t have to worry about stopping for gas). Helpful, too, are books,games, toilet paper, plastic bags, rope, blankets and a tarp.

    As the Scouts always say, BE PREPARED.


    A Thought

    "Those who pursue charity and kindness will find life, charity and honor."

    Proverbs 21:21


    DALE V. ATKINS Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist, lecturer and commentator in the media who appears on the Today show.

    She has more than twenty- five years of experience and focuses on living a balanced life, parenting, aging well, managing stress, life & work transitions, family connections and healthy relationships.

    Dr. Atkins is the author and/or co-editor of several books including:

  • Sisters
  • From the Heart:
    Men and Women Write Their Private Thoughts about their Private Lives
  • Families and their Hearing-Impaired Children
  • I'm OK, You're My Parents
    How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger and Create a Relationship that Works
  • Wedding Sanity Savers
    How to Handle the Stickiest Dilemmas, Scrapes and Questions that Arise on the Road to Your Perfect Day.
  • And her newest book . . .

  • Sanity Savers: Tips for Women to Live a Balanced Life
  • .

    Find out more....
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    Dr. Dale's Healthy Eating & Lifestyle Advice

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    I'm OK
    You're My Parents
    How to Overcome Guilt, Let Go of Anger, and Create a Relationship That Works

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